I hope this is the last time I say, "I'm here again and back on the wagon." The struggle with my weight over the years has taken a toll on me. On Wednesday without planning for it (considering Tuesday night I ate almost a whole bag of salt and vinegar kettle chips) I just decided I couldn't do it anymore. I know I have probably said that before so I don't even expect anyone to believe me. I am afraid for my health to decline or deteriorate. My blood sugars have been over 200 for months and it has finally scared me. Since Wednesday I have had bs's of 162, 177 and 180 which are still high but they are under 200 and that is great!
I am counting calories and drinking water. I am not beginning any exercise program at this time because exercise makes me extremely hungry and right now I just don't need any additional challenges. I am re-training myself on portion sizes and just focusing on that and staying within an allotted calorie range. I will tackle exercise after I have dropped some weight and feel stronger and more confident with my food choices.
I am not the type of person who can follow a thousand food rules. I don't want to track fat grams, carbs etc. I am strictly tracking calories, being conscious of portions by measuring, weighing etc. I am making different food choices because of the calories, but if I decide I want chocolate I am going to eat a normal serving, log it and move on - making sure it is in my calorie range for the day. I know myself and I know when I deprive myself of certain foods it is only a set up for failure because then what happens is I become obsessed with that which I cannot have. I have found that knowing I can have something if I choose, frees me up from thinking about it all the time!
I am not going to jump on any fads or follow the latest trends. I am not going to become obsessed about chemicals etc that are in foods. I do already choose "real" foods over chemically created foods - like I use real butter instead of margarine, real sugar instead of Equal. Real is always going to be better for me, but again in the right portion. I am not going to get distracted by what other people think I should do. I know me best and I am going to choose how I travel this road. I am not going to compare myself to anyone else either.
So, like the Whitesnake song says, "here I go again on my own!" I am on the road to freedom, health and a closetful of jeans I haven't worn in years!
