Hiatus

I have been on a diet hiatus. I am just overwhelmed with life, short on funds for really investing in products and foods that could help. I have to make do with what I have.

I have been intermittently walking with friends, but haven't been all week. I haven't had that "snap" happen and I don't know what it is going to take. I hate being overweight. I hate running short of breath. I hate not being able to do physically exerting activities with the kids. I hate the way I look in clothes and naked. So, WHY can't I just get disciplined?

I guess when I say I am desperate, I am just not desperate enough. I am praying for God to just put in me a desire to eat healthy and remove my desire for unhealthy cravings and to remove my desire to overeat. I saw God remove the desire to drink from my husband after 12 years of praying for that. If God can do that, then surely he can remove from me the desire to overeat!

Stuck

I am still 253 pounds. I am angry at myself because I know I am not playing by the rules, yet I am hoping for a change on the scale. I have only been walking about 3 times a week and I haven't been tracking my food very well.

One thing I know is that I need to eat less carbs. I am addicted to carbs. It makes up most of my diet. I can't live on fruit and eggs. LOL I am going to make out a menu ahead of time and then follow it because I know most of the time my bad choices are because I wait until I am hungry to figure out what I am going to eat. So at that point it is about whatever is quickest and I am not creative when I feel "starved." I also need to make sure I don't get to that "starving" feeling. As a diabetic I need to keep my blood sugar steady through the day and having extreme highs and lows is not good.

So, my goal for this next 7 days is to eat by a menu with measured and calculated portions. I will also continue to walk at the track.

Until next time......

3 Pound Gain

I am back from my business trip. I exercised officially one time while there. I swam 20 laps on the rooftop pool of the hotel. It was awesome. The rest of the week I did alot of walking, but it wasn't get your heart rate up, exercise walking. It was my feet hurt from these heels and I am exhausted walking.

I did the best I could with food considering what I had to choose from. Actually, that isn't entirely true. I gave in to cookies for dessert one night.

I didn't walk but once or twice the whole week before leaving and I have gone over my calories many times so that combined with my trip accounts for the three pound gain. So now I only have a net loss of 7 pounds for over a month. Pardon my french, but that SUCKS. I am so frustrated. I also heard this week and I don't know for sure if it is true, but I heard that when you consistently get less than 8 hours of sleep per night that your body stores fat because it is in survival mode. I only get about 4-6 hours of sleep per night. I would LOVE to get 8 and I am really trying the last few nights. I got 8 hours Saturday night, but only 6 on Sunday night and only 7 last night.

I have to admit I am really feeling in despair over my weight and my lack of energy and my lack of "will power" to always choose right. Some days are good, but then I swear the next day I feel like I am starving. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Why do I always feel hungry? I feel like crying.

Yesterday my calories were 1830. Today they are already over 1000 and it is only 3:20. I want to go walking tonight, but honestly I feel like I am wasting my time. My legs are so sore when I am done and I am getting NO results. Yesterday morning I did a 20 minute Richard Simmons video that got my heart rate up for brief time and I sweated really well. I just want some noticeable results. Is that too much to ask for? I know I have a really bad attitude about this today.

I didn't quit!

I intended to update by now, but the week has flown by. I have not weighed in again because it is that "time of the month" and I don't want to get discouraged if I haven't lost anything if you know what I mean. So, I am waiting until said time passes. Because of said time, I have been having cravings and it has been a really HARD week. I have struggled with writing things down because I have been doing more "grazing." Also, I only walked 3 times in the last week because we have all had things going on. I am hoping to walk tonight, even if I have to go alone.

I am about to go out of town on Tuesday for 5 days and I am anxious about that. I am bringing a case of water with me and plenty of healthy snacks to help keep me on track. The hotel probably has a fitness center so I am hoping to hit the treadmill whenever possible or maybe just swimming laps.

If I decide to weigh in Monday then I will be here with an update, otherwise it may not be until I return from my trip. Until next time.....

The Doctor

Yesterday the Dr. called to tell me about my bloodwork. Liver and kidneys- good. Cholesterol- normal. Good Cholesterol is low so he recommended eating nuts and salmon several times a week. Yippee, I get to go to Sam's Club and buy a big bag of salmon- yummy! My A1C was 6.5. He said it was good for me and since I am taking 1000mg of Metformin now he expects it to be lower next time. I can't wait to surprise him with my weight loss- whatever it is- by the time I go back in September.

I walked 7 laps around the track last night. My legs felt like jello when I left. For some reason last night's walk was rough to get through. Every now and then I had to let out a groan of some sort as if to release the pain from my calves. I didn't do any jogging last night because I ate too soon before arriving, but I did do 400 meters of runing on Monday night.

I am bloated and starting my cycle so I am fighting all sorts of cravings. Craving when you are on a mission to eat healthier just really stinks! I did make a FANTASTIC discovery at Super Walmart though- they have SINGLE SERVING Hagaan Daaz ice cream! Thank you God! I can indulge without having to measure ice cream or have more sitting around for me to think about eating. I can have my treat, write it down and move on.

Also, a great treat that will help me get my good cholesterol up is Almonds. They only have 5 calories each.

Weigh Day

I weighed in this morning at 250. That's 2 more pounds down for a total of 10 since June 17th. I am trying to be more excited, but I was really hoping to be below that 250 mark! Oh well, two pounds is fine. It would be ideal for me if I could lose 3 pounds per week for a total of 12 per month then by the end of the year I would be 3/4 to my goal.

I am going to reduce my calories by 100 per day and look for some more lower calorie snacks to keep my blood sugar level between meals. I am also entertaining thoughts of doing an exercise video or two at home each week in addition to walking with the girls.

I found some great tasting sugar free popsicles at Super Walmart. They are the "Popcicle" brand and they are only 15 calories each. They do not taste sugar free! I am also having plain (except for sea salt) pop corn as a snack. Popcorn keeps my fingers busy while I watch TV. LOL I have started only eating one piece at a time instead of grabbing a handful at a time. One in my mouth at a time slows me down and allows me to feel fuller faster because I am eating slower. Anything to trick myself!

This morning's breakfast was an apple and a plain blueberry bagel.

Eating Out

I ate out tonight. It was kind of scary, but I think I did well. I drank ice water with lemon. I ate a garden salad. It was not huge and it had tomatoes, onions, carrots and egg over iceberg lettuce. I got Blue Cheese dressing on the side and just dipped my fork in the dressing before taking a bite from the salad. I only used about half of the dressing in the little cup by doing it that way, thus cutting down on the calories that dressing can load onto a salad.

In addition to the salad I had 5 chicken drumettes. They were yummy. I guestimated on the calories at 100 a piece. I don't care if I am right or wrong. I have had a very good day calorie wise and I treaded water for quite a while at the pool today. Nothing that got my heart rate up, but I was moving!

All in all I feel good about today. Tomorrow I may dust off an old exercise video and see if I can keep up. Monday is weigh in and I am hoping to see at least 2 more pounds gone!