3 Pound Gain

I am back from my business trip. I exercised officially one time while there. I swam 20 laps on the rooftop pool of the hotel. It was awesome. The rest of the week I did alot of walking, but it wasn't get your heart rate up, exercise walking. It was my feet hurt from these heels and I am exhausted walking.

I did the best I could with food considering what I had to choose from. Actually, that isn't entirely true. I gave in to cookies for dessert one night.

I didn't walk but once or twice the whole week before leaving and I have gone over my calories many times so that combined with my trip accounts for the three pound gain. So now I only have a net loss of 7 pounds for over a month. Pardon my french, but that SUCKS. I am so frustrated. I also heard this week and I don't know for sure if it is true, but I heard that when you consistently get less than 8 hours of sleep per night that your body stores fat because it is in survival mode. I only get about 4-6 hours of sleep per night. I would LOVE to get 8 and I am really trying the last few nights. I got 8 hours Saturday night, but only 6 on Sunday night and only 7 last night.

I have to admit I am really feeling in despair over my weight and my lack of energy and my lack of "will power" to always choose right. Some days are good, but then I swear the next day I feel like I am starving. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Why do I always feel hungry? I feel like crying.

Yesterday my calories were 1830. Today they are already over 1000 and it is only 3:20. I want to go walking tonight, but honestly I feel like I am wasting my time. My legs are so sore when I am done and I am getting NO results. Yesterday morning I did a 20 minute Richard Simmons video that got my heart rate up for brief time and I sweated really well. I just want some noticeable results. Is that too much to ask for? I know I have a really bad attitude about this today.