Today was weigh in day!!!

I weighed in this morning and I am down SEVEN pounds!!! Woohooooo!!! I know it was some water weight, but TOM is here and it still showed a 7 pound loss. I can't wait until next week's weigh in!!!

I am using http://www.fitday.com/ to track my food. My goal is to be under 50% carbs each day, but that doesn't happen most days. I imagine as I keep going and discovering better snacks etc that I will get that under control.

I am on my way to Onederland!!!

6 days

Tomorrow is weigh in day!!! I have been back on the wagon for 6 days now. I have stayed under 1800 calories all but one day. The day I went over I went over my calories with protein and not junk food so that is sort of a victory. LOL

It is that TOM so I am hoping it won't affect the scale that much. I am going to continue to drink my water and stay on plan. I am going to try to do some on purpose exercise today. A few days this past week I very BRIEFLY did some upper body/arm exercises with my dumbells just to do something.

I'll be back tomorrow with weigh in results.

I'm Back

I'm back. I think for good this time. I think I have finally "snapped." I decided last night that I can't continue to live like this. I decided that even though it is hard and grueling that it will be worth it. I didn't get this way overnight so for me to expect fast results is just unrealistic. I have to face it, it is going to take me a while. I talk to my kids about how anything worth having is worth working for yet here I am still fat year after year. WOW.

Last night I logged in to 3 Fat Chicks On a Diet forums that I have previously visited. I am committed to checking in there everyday for support, encouragement and inspiration. I also updated my stats at www.fitday.com and will be tracking progress there as well. I weighed this morning and did all my measurements.

Weight 257.4
Bust: 54 in
Waist: 45.5 in
Hips: 44 in
Upper Arms: 16 in ea.
BMI (Body Mass Index) 41.5

My target calories is 1733. I am not going to be doing any formal exercise yet because when I was vigorously walking before I was coming home feeling like I was starving and then I would binge. My "exercise" goals right now are to just MOVE MORE. Instead of asking someone to hand me something I am going to go get it. I can go up and down my stairs, take the dogs for short walks around the block, do sit ups etc. Once I get a grip on my food choices and see some weight come off then I will look for more formal outlets of exercise. I am also going this approach because I know from experience when I try to make too many changes at once that I set myself up for failure.

The other thing that is so important is that I eat more frequently. Since I am type 2 diabetic it isn't good for me to go 6 hours without eating. I need to eat about every two hours to keep my blood sugar steady and not put stress on my organs. I tend to get really busy with the kids throughout the day or caught up in working on something and before I know it the day has gone by and I haven't eaten since breakfast. Not good, because then I gorge and tend to eat all night.

I will be weighing in every Wednesday and will be checking my measurements about every 2-3 weeks for now.

Hiatus

I have been on a diet hiatus. I am just overwhelmed with life, short on funds for really investing in products and foods that could help. I have to make do with what I have.

I have been intermittently walking with friends, but haven't been all week. I haven't had that "snap" happen and I don't know what it is going to take. I hate being overweight. I hate running short of breath. I hate not being able to do physically exerting activities with the kids. I hate the way I look in clothes and naked. So, WHY can't I just get disciplined?

I guess when I say I am desperate, I am just not desperate enough. I am praying for God to just put in me a desire to eat healthy and remove my desire for unhealthy cravings and to remove my desire to overeat. I saw God remove the desire to drink from my husband after 12 years of praying for that. If God can do that, then surely he can remove from me the desire to overeat!

Stuck

I am still 253 pounds. I am angry at myself because I know I am not playing by the rules, yet I am hoping for a change on the scale. I have only been walking about 3 times a week and I haven't been tracking my food very well.

One thing I know is that I need to eat less carbs. I am addicted to carbs. It makes up most of my diet. I can't live on fruit and eggs. LOL I am going to make out a menu ahead of time and then follow it because I know most of the time my bad choices are because I wait until I am hungry to figure out what I am going to eat. So at that point it is about whatever is quickest and I am not creative when I feel "starved." I also need to make sure I don't get to that "starving" feeling. As a diabetic I need to keep my blood sugar steady through the day and having extreme highs and lows is not good.

So, my goal for this next 7 days is to eat by a menu with measured and calculated portions. I will also continue to walk at the track.

Until next time......

3 Pound Gain

I am back from my business trip. I exercised officially one time while there. I swam 20 laps on the rooftop pool of the hotel. It was awesome. The rest of the week I did alot of walking, but it wasn't get your heart rate up, exercise walking. It was my feet hurt from these heels and I am exhausted walking.

I did the best I could with food considering what I had to choose from. Actually, that isn't entirely true. I gave in to cookies for dessert one night.

I didn't walk but once or twice the whole week before leaving and I have gone over my calories many times so that combined with my trip accounts for the three pound gain. So now I only have a net loss of 7 pounds for over a month. Pardon my french, but that SUCKS. I am so frustrated. I also heard this week and I don't know for sure if it is true, but I heard that when you consistently get less than 8 hours of sleep per night that your body stores fat because it is in survival mode. I only get about 4-6 hours of sleep per night. I would LOVE to get 8 and I am really trying the last few nights. I got 8 hours Saturday night, but only 6 on Sunday night and only 7 last night.

I have to admit I am really feeling in despair over my weight and my lack of energy and my lack of "will power" to always choose right. Some days are good, but then I swear the next day I feel like I am starving. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Why do I always feel hungry? I feel like crying.

Yesterday my calories were 1830. Today they are already over 1000 and it is only 3:20. I want to go walking tonight, but honestly I feel like I am wasting my time. My legs are so sore when I am done and I am getting NO results. Yesterday morning I did a 20 minute Richard Simmons video that got my heart rate up for brief time and I sweated really well. I just want some noticeable results. Is that too much to ask for? I know I have a really bad attitude about this today.

I didn't quit!

I intended to update by now, but the week has flown by. I have not weighed in again because it is that "time of the month" and I don't want to get discouraged if I haven't lost anything if you know what I mean. So, I am waiting until said time passes. Because of said time, I have been having cravings and it has been a really HARD week. I have struggled with writing things down because I have been doing more "grazing." Also, I only walked 3 times in the last week because we have all had things going on. I am hoping to walk tonight, even if I have to go alone.

I am about to go out of town on Tuesday for 5 days and I am anxious about that. I am bringing a case of water with me and plenty of healthy snacks to help keep me on track. The hotel probably has a fitness center so I am hoping to hit the treadmill whenever possible or maybe just swimming laps.

If I decide to weigh in Monday then I will be here with an update, otherwise it may not be until I return from my trip. Until next time.....

The Doctor

Yesterday the Dr. called to tell me about my bloodwork. Liver and kidneys- good. Cholesterol- normal. Good Cholesterol is low so he recommended eating nuts and salmon several times a week. Yippee, I get to go to Sam's Club and buy a big bag of salmon- yummy! My A1C was 6.5. He said it was good for me and since I am taking 1000mg of Metformin now he expects it to be lower next time. I can't wait to surprise him with my weight loss- whatever it is- by the time I go back in September.

I walked 7 laps around the track last night. My legs felt like jello when I left. For some reason last night's walk was rough to get through. Every now and then I had to let out a groan of some sort as if to release the pain from my calves. I didn't do any jogging last night because I ate too soon before arriving, but I did do 400 meters of runing on Monday night.

I am bloated and starting my cycle so I am fighting all sorts of cravings. Craving when you are on a mission to eat healthier just really stinks! I did make a FANTASTIC discovery at Super Walmart though- they have SINGLE SERVING Hagaan Daaz ice cream! Thank you God! I can indulge without having to measure ice cream or have more sitting around for me to think about eating. I can have my treat, write it down and move on.

Also, a great treat that will help me get my good cholesterol up is Almonds. They only have 5 calories each.

Weigh Day

I weighed in this morning at 250. That's 2 more pounds down for a total of 10 since June 17th. I am trying to be more excited, but I was really hoping to be below that 250 mark! Oh well, two pounds is fine. It would be ideal for me if I could lose 3 pounds per week for a total of 12 per month then by the end of the year I would be 3/4 to my goal.

I am going to reduce my calories by 100 per day and look for some more lower calorie snacks to keep my blood sugar level between meals. I am also entertaining thoughts of doing an exercise video or two at home each week in addition to walking with the girls.

I found some great tasting sugar free popsicles at Super Walmart. They are the "Popcicle" brand and they are only 15 calories each. They do not taste sugar free! I am also having plain (except for sea salt) pop corn as a snack. Popcorn keeps my fingers busy while I watch TV. LOL I have started only eating one piece at a time instead of grabbing a handful at a time. One in my mouth at a time slows me down and allows me to feel fuller faster because I am eating slower. Anything to trick myself!

This morning's breakfast was an apple and a plain blueberry bagel.

Eating Out

I ate out tonight. It was kind of scary, but I think I did well. I drank ice water with lemon. I ate a garden salad. It was not huge and it had tomatoes, onions, carrots and egg over iceberg lettuce. I got Blue Cheese dressing on the side and just dipped my fork in the dressing before taking a bite from the salad. I only used about half of the dressing in the little cup by doing it that way, thus cutting down on the calories that dressing can load onto a salad.

In addition to the salad I had 5 chicken drumettes. They were yummy. I guestimated on the calories at 100 a piece. I don't care if I am right or wrong. I have had a very good day calorie wise and I treaded water for quite a while at the pool today. Nothing that got my heart rate up, but I was moving!

All in all I feel good about today. Tomorrow I may dust off an old exercise video and see if I can keep up. Monday is weigh in and I am hoping to see at least 2 more pounds gone!

Food

I though today I would share what I have been eating. I know, I know, it is soooo exciting isn't it?? I just don't have anything else to report except that I did 5 laps last night and did running in 3 of them, about a 1/4 mile.

OK so yesterday I ate:

1/2 Cantalope
1 cup Special K cereal with 3/4 c 1% milk
Grapes
Chicken Leg
BLT
1 cup of pinto beans
3/4 cup pineapple chunks
Popcorn (evening snack)

I have been averaging around 1600 calories a day so far. I am feeling really good and energized. My feet and ankles feel stiff in the mornings and a little sore for a couple of hours, but I think as I take the weight off they won't hurt as much. I am praying for no pain.

Weight and Weigh In Clarification

I need to clear something up! The last time I weighed myself at home was early June and I weighed 254. I kept that number in my head. However, when I went to my doctor on June 17th their scale said I weighed 260. I shrugged it off because it was late in the afternoon and I was fully clothed- you know how it is- we like to weigh naked after we have peed right? LOL Anyway, I weighed this morning back at my house and my scale says 252. YEAH!!!! So, if we go with the starting weight of the Dr. visit I have lost 8 pounds since the 17th! Or if we go with my home scale, I have lost 2 pounds, which is still good, but I like 8 better!

My next weigh in will be next Monday July 6, 2009.

Last night I excerised with the girlfriends again and it was great. We did 5 laps around the high school track. 3 of the laps we alternated jogging and walking and boy did my heart rate increase. I was sweating like mad too. Then I did a few abdominal exercises before going home. I felt so good when I left. I feel great today and can't wait to get out there tonight.

On the food front.....after my doctor appointment on the 17th I started being more conscious of what I was eating, but I finally started writing things down and counting calories on the 26th. I am staying under the 1800 calorie range and I think I am getting past the white knuckle withdrawl stage. Praise the Lord!

100 Pounds $1000 Challenge

I have created this blog to record my thoughts, feelings, struggles, victories and challenges on my journey to lose 100 pounds. Part of me sits here wondering, "How did I get to this place where I even need to lose 100 pounds?" I look back at pictures of myself 10-13 years ago and I looked good!!! Somehow though, back then I thought I was fat and needed to lose weight. I probably dieted my way to this size!

In actuality, I know exactly what got me to where I am. I am an emotional eater. The weight gain started after the birth of my second son. I actually went to my pre-pregnancy weight after I had him, but emotional stress brought on a gradual weight gain. When my second son was 18 months old my Daddy passed away and my way of coping was eating and shopping. Since 1997 I have gained an average of 10 pounds a year. Along the way I have lost 30 here and 30 there only to gain them back and another 10. To the point where now I am 254 pounds! YIKES! That makes my goal weight 154, which may sound like too much to some, but I have about 8 pairs of jeans that would fit me at that weight!! Ideally, I would like to get down to 145 because that is what I weighed when in this picture here:

On the right is my current weight. Ugh. It is so hard to look at. I know I am now 37 and things may not go back exactly as they were. I have more than a weight loss goal though. I want to feel good and healthy again. I am tired of being tired. I want to ride bikes with my boys, go on hikes without getting winded. Chase the ball around the back yard with the boys and not quit 5 minutes later because I can't breathe. I also have a "size" goal. I want to be a size 12 again. 10 would be excellet, but 12 would be great and I would be satisfied. I could also more easily maintain being a size 12 I think. In the picture above I was wearing a size 11 Levi. When I wore those jeans I also fit into a size 9 tight Bongo jeans. LOL Remember those? Yeah, and I still have both those pairs in my closet. Wearing the 11 Levi's would be the ultimate size victory for me!

So, where does the $1000 come in? My Grampy issued me a challenge - via email. At first I felt slightly insulted and mad. After thinking about it briefly I realized that he is not a person who expresses himself easily and I took his email in the spirit I believe he meant it. He is concerned about me and my mother (who he also issued the challenge to) and he doesn't like seeing us so overweight and unhealthy. I believe it worries him. So, he said if I lost 100 pounds by June 1, 2010 and no less than 100 that he would give me $1000. I plan on going to the outlet mall in San Marcos and buying a whole new wardrobe!! I am going to Dress Barn to the REGULAR SIZE side, Levi Strauss, Charlotte Russe, Old Navy and Nieman Marcus (for some biz attire). I will probably get new shoes too since I will be able to wear heels again!

Even though this blog is dated June 28, 2009 I started this new lifestyle on Thursday June 18, 2009. My current weight is 254. I will be reporting in when I weigh in and when I need to vent or brag! Until next time.......

Mary